Posted in Health, Health Archive | Monday, March 1st, 2010
There is always a well-meaning friend, co-worker, neighbor or relative who will be slightly disturbed by the fact that you are not cleaning your bathroom with bleach, not using an ammonia-based product on your windows, not scrubbing your sink with Ajax, not using the latest shampoo from Sally’s, and not slathering vaseline on your child’s face in the winter. They will make comments, and remarks, insinuate that you’re completely out of your mind, and often… BUY you stuff. I have friends and relatives who do this, they NEVER read the back of labels, and just give me anything with the words “natural” or “organic” on them.
Be NICE to these people.
They were kind enough to actually think of you, pay money to buy you a gift and give you something that they thought you’d like. DON’T start to lecture them about the maladies of bleach, sulfates, dimethicone and the like. “Always receive a gift graciously” as my mother would say. Even if the person is trying to test you or take you off your game. Like buying you a box of donuts while you’re on that new diet. (Take one bite, of one donut in front of them, and then give the rest of the box away when they’re not around).
I always graciously receive gifts in the spirit in which they are given, and if they don’t suit my needs or I can’t find another use for them, I promptly add them to the pile of items that I will take to goodwill, sell on ebay or trade. Or if I like the packaging, I (safely) dump the contents and reuse the container.
Now if someone honestly me what type of gift I would prefer, I will politely tell them that there are certain products that I don’t use anymore for health reasons, and that USUALLY sparks a conversation.
But please don’t be what I call the “compost police”. that’s the unsolicited denouncing of anything and everything that hasn’t been grown in your garden, made in your kitchen or stamped organic or vegan as if it was the plague itself, and in turn alienating a caring person, who was only trying to make you happy.
Lead by example. If you are happy, healthy, rarely get the flu, have glowing skin and hair, your house is clean and tidy and your children aren’t acting like hellspawn, people WILL ask you what you’re doing, and THAT’S teachable moment.
Unless you have a real allergy, or someone is trying to wrestle you or a family member to the ground and pour bleach down their throat, “kill ‘em with kindness” as my mother (Mama Savvy) would say, and move on.
Mama Savvy is BRILLIANT at this by the way. I have seen people walk away from her confident, after uttering a semi-insulting comment, not realizing that they’re bleeding internally. (I MUST learn this shaolin technique!)
What are some of the crazy things people have said or done to you on your natural journey
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About Savvy Brown
I believe being healthy doesn't have to be complicated, being green can be easy and being broke isn't an option!
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Oh my goodness, I’ve heard it all. My favorite one is, “Life is too short to be healthy.” lol. I have to remember that (most) people mean well, so I don’t take it too seriously anymore.
I do agree with you that the best thing is to lead by example. That goes a long way.
LOL! “Life is too short to be healthy”?! that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in awhile!
Mom says, ” You still didn’t get a perm”? Dad tells host Mom, ” DID YOU SEE HER HAIR”! They constantly provoke me with comments like that and not just aiming at my hair! You should teach me some nice words to tell them because I have none for them. Remember that scene from the movie “Two Can Play That Game”? When Vivica punched the heck out of Gabrielle Union in her mind? That’s what goes on in my mind.
LOL! Omg Lorrett, PLEASE don’t hit your parents! They’re just not used to it yet. Be strong girl, be strong.
Talking about hair with people who have relaxers is something I have learned not to do anymore. I used to be a bit of a “compost policewoman” I went natural 3 years ago and never looked back! Ok I live in Massachusetts and we have some of the most HUMID summers clear of Florida, so I won’t lie, maybe I peeked back a little on a hot day, but not enough to turn into a pillar of salt lol. ANYHOO I hate hearing:
Relaxed person: Well you can do that natural thang… you got good hair. Me, I got naps!
Hi Erica! Yes, I’ve heard that one about a hundred times. I always end up showing folks people of my hair right after I wash it. they’re always so surprised that it looks JUST like theirs!
I get the good hair comments too. Or ‘you got a nice shaped head so it looks good on you’. LOL. I used to ask what that meant, but now I just say ‘well, you don’t know how it looks on you if you don’t try it.’ Nice-shaped head….
Lorrett, my mother asked me if I was a lesbian the first time I cut my hair short. I just looked at her.
@ Deauna: I got major “in the closet” side eye too my whole family like o_O LMAO. They couldn’t imagine not wanting a relaxer… crazy…
@ Savvy: Ok kinda off topic and a little long winded (bear with me lol): When I was only flirting with the idea of going natural I used to do the “wash and go” to lengthen the time between touch ups. My cousin’s girlfriend moved in she saw me doing my hair and I noticed her looking at my hair more often. She would always refer to her hair as “nappy” she had virtually NO edges, it was stick straight, THIN and HARD. So one day she turned her nose up said to me “I thought you had “good hair” but it’s all those products you use.” like I had let her down or something lol, like I committed curl fraud :\ by using a product (conditioner, and frizz control products I’m a certified PJ lol) to tame my hair. I was just wondering if you (or any readers who want to comment) have ever came across this sort of sentiment… Might write an article on this…